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bigmaddaz
Senior Member
United Kingdom
330 posts
Joined: May, 2004
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 Posted - 2004/05/21 : 14:59:53
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in
divorce court and the judge said to Mickey,
"You say here that your wife is crazy."
Mickey replied,
"I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's f*cking Goofy."
HARDCORE NEVER DIES!!!!
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HARDCORE NEVER DIES!!!!!
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Edited by - bigmaddaz on 2004/05/21 15:20:53 |
sexy_Rhi_Rhi
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
567 posts
Joined: Apr, 2004
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Posted - 2004/05/21 : 15:02:15
nm en:p
~*RaVeReSs BaBeH*~
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~*RaVeReSs BaBeH*~
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Agent_X
New Member
United Kingdom
42 posts
Joined: May, 2004
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Posted - 2004/05/21 : 15:02:27
2 hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head."The other guy whips out his mobile and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: 'My friend is dead! What do I do?' "The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: 'take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.'"There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says:'OK, now what?'
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Agent_X
New Member
United Kingdom
42 posts
Joined: May, 2004
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Posted - 2004/05/21 : 15:03:49
A man enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.
"I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum."
The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced.
After a few strokes, the client asks in garbled speech, "And what if I swallow it?"
"No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."
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Agent_X
New Member
United Kingdom
42 posts
Joined: May, 2004
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Posted - 2004/05/21 : 15:05:16
A blonde went to a flight school insisting that she wanted to learn to fly. As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her by radio on how to pilot the solo helicopter. He took her out, showed her how to start it and gave her the basics, and sent her on her way.
After she climbed 1000 feet, she radioed in. "I'm doing great! I love it! The view is so beautiful, and I'm starting to get the hang of this."
After 2000 feet, she radioed again, saying how easy it was to fly. The instructor watched her climb over 3000 feet, and was beginning to worry that she hadn't radioed in.
A few minutes later, he watched in horror as she crashed about half a mile away. He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage.
When he asked what happened, she said, "I don't know! Everything was going fine, but as I got higher, I was starting to get cold. I can barely remember anything after I turned off the big fan!"
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bigmaddaz
Senior Member
United Kingdom
330 posts
Joined: May, 2004
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Posted - 2004/05/21 : 15:07:52
i cant accept coz im in college and they have blocked msn msnger ba*tards lol i mite b on l8r coz i will have 2 go down ma sisters house 2 use msnger so i will add ya then k babexxxxx
HARDCORE NEVER DIES!!!!
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HARDCORE NEVER DIES!!!!!
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Agent_X
New Member
United Kingdom
42 posts
Joined: May, 2004
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Posted - 2004/05/21 : 15:11:00
The owner of a golf course in Texas was confused about paying an invoice minus his early payment discount, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Texas and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, then replied, "Everything but my earrings."
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Q: What's the definition of indefinitely?
A: When your balls are slapping up against her ass, you're in...definitely!
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This farmer has 500 hens but no rooster so he goes to his neighbour and asks him if he could buy a rooster for $100.
The neighbour says, "You can have this rooster. His name's Roy. He'll get all your hens pregnant. He's a real stud."
So the farmer takes him home and says, "It's your first day so take it slow, okay?"
The farmer puts Roy in the hen house and then hears all the hens crying and yelling. Roy nailed every one of those hens and then nailed a duck and a goose at a pond.
The next morning the farmer finds Roy lying with his legs sticking in the air and buzzards circling overhead.
The farmer says, "Roy, did you have to die?"
Roy says, "Quiet! They're about to land!"
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A couple recently married was happy with the whole thing.
He was happy with the hole, and she was happy with the thing.
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while touring an indian reservation in north america, a prudish old documentary maker is puzzled why some of the natives` head-dresses have more feathers than others.
she approaches a brave, sporting just one feather: "can you tell me about your head-dress?" she asks
"only have one woman," replies the brave,
"only one woman, one feather."
slightly taken aback, the film maker decides to interview the tribe cheif.
wandering over, she notices his head-dress is bristling with all sorts of feathers.
"my goodness," she gasps, "could u tell me why you have so many feathers?" she inquires
the chief stands proud: "me chief, me sleep with all-big,small,fat,tall - with all."
the old girl is astounded: "why you ought to be hung for such behaviour!" she says
"you damn right," replies the chief,"me hung big like buffalo, long like snake!"
"well theres no need to be so hostile," says the filmaker.
"hoss-style," contiues the chief, "dog-style, wolf style, any style - me sleep with all."
the old girl is mortified at such promiscuity: "oh dear..." she sighs.
"no-deer," frowns the chief, "ass too high, run too fast."
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bigmaddaz
Senior Member
United Kingdom
330 posts
Joined: May, 2004
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Posted - 2004/05/21 : 15:14:44
very kool agent x keep them coming in
HARDCORE NEVER DIES!!!!
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HARDCORE NEVER DIES!!!!!
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Edited by - bigmaddaz on 2004/05/21 15:20:26 |
Agent_X
New Member
United Kingdom
42 posts
Joined: May, 2004
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Posted - 2004/05/21 : 15:15:55
no problem m8y glad u liked um hehehe
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bigmaddaz
Senior Member
United Kingdom
330 posts
Joined: May, 2004
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Posted - 2004/05/21 : 15:16:10
Michael Jackson and his wife are in the recovery room with their new baby son.
The doctor walks in and Michael asks:
"Doctor, how long before we can have sex?"
The doctor replies, "I'd wait until he's at least 14."
that is sick lol
HARDCORE NEVER DIES!!!!
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HARDCORE NEVER DIES!!!!!
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bigmaddaz
Senior Member
United Kingdom
330 posts
Joined: May, 2004
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Posted - 2004/05/21 : 15:18:07
Two whales were swimming along looking for fish to eat,
but the waters were empty due to a fishing boat that was catching all the fish.
The boy whale said to his female companion,
"I have a plan.
Let's swim up underneath the boat, and when we're right underneath
we'll blow our spouts as hard as we can.
That'll knock the boat over, and then we'll eat everything
and everyone that falls into the water."
The girl whale thought about it for a moment, then shook her head.
"I don't mind the blow job," she said.
"But I draw the line at swallowing seaman!"
HARDCORE NEVER DIES!!!!
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HARDCORE NEVER DIES!!!!!
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sexy_Rhi_Rhi
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
567 posts
Joined: Apr, 2004
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Posted - 2004/05/21 : 15:21:16
ok hun sowted!:D
~*RaVeReSs BaBeH*~
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~*RaVeReSs BaBeH*~
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bigmaddaz
Senior Member
United Kingdom
330 posts
Joined: May, 2004
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Posted - 2004/05/21 : 15:22:31
An old bull was showing his young bovine friend
his pasture one day when they topped out on a hill.
below in the valley were dozens of cows.
"lets run down there and f*ck one of those cows"
said the young bull.
"son", said the old bull,
"lets walk down there and f*ck em all"
HARDCORE NEVER DIES!!!!
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HARDCORE NEVER DIES!!!!!
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bigmaddaz
Senior Member
United Kingdom
330 posts
Joined: May, 2004
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Posted - 2004/05/21 : 15:26:37
A guy is walking along when suddenly he got his foot caught
stuck in some railroad tracks.
He tried to get it out but it was really stuck in there well.
He heard a noise and turned around to see a train coming.
He panicked and started to pray,
"God, please get my foot out of these tracks and I'll stop drinking!"
Nothing happened, it was still stuck, and the train was getting closer!
He prayed again,
"God, please get my foot out and I'll stop drinking AND cussing!"
Still nothing.....and the train was just seconds away!
He tried it one more time,
"God please, if you get my foot out of the tracks, I'll quit drinking,
cussing, smoking and having sex with all the women I meet."
Suddenly his foot shot out of the tracks and he was able to dive
out of the way, just as the train passed!...
He got up, dusted himself off, looked toward Heaven
and said "Thanks anyway God, I got it myself."
HARDCORE NEVER DIES!!!!
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HARDCORE NEVER DIES!!!!!
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bigmaddaz
Senior Member
United Kingdom
330 posts
Joined: May, 2004
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Posted - 2004/05/21 : 15:28:27
quote:
Originally posted by sexy_Rhi_Rhi:
ok hun sowted!:D
~*RaVeReSs BaBeH*~
ok i chat 2 ya l8r then hun but 4 now we can still chat on here.coz i dont leave here till 3:40pm
HARDCORE NEVER DIES!!!!
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HARDCORE NEVER DIES!!!!!
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